6 posts tagged “happiness”

I have had a few posts on charactertics around facing adversity, challenges and playing David like 300, I Like It Rough and then my last post recently on (Pride), Determination and Resilience.

You can imagine how excited I was to read an article by Melinda Beck, from The Wall Street Journal, here on how some very successful household names had to face failure before they became what they are today. The article to me was a "Celebration of Failure"!

• J.K. Rowling's first book about a boy wizard named Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury, a small London publishing house, picked it up.
• Twenty-seven publishers rejected Theodor Seuss (Dr. Seuss) Geisel's first book, "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street."
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school varsity basketball team sophomore year.
• Decca Records turned down a contract with the Beatles, saying "Groups of guitars are on their way out."
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor who said "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas."

Here are some snippets that I want to make a note to self:

What makes some people rebound from defeats and go on to greatness while others throw in the towel? Psychologists call it "self-efficacy," the unshakable belief some people have that they have what it takes to succeed.

I only think that a few people rebound and most throw in the towel.

Where does such determination come from? In some cases it's inborn optimism -- akin to the kind of resilience that enables some children to emerge unscathed from extreme poverty, tragedy or abuse. Self-efficacy can also be acquired by mastering a task; by modeling the behavior of others who have succeeded; and from what Prof. Bandura calls "verbal persuasion" -- getting effective encouragement that is tied to achievement, rather than empty praise.

Some quotes:

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life. That's why I succeed," - Michael Jordan
"I didn't fail 1,000 times," he told a reporter. "The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." - Thomas Edison
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." - Winston Churchill

Two big failures I have faced personally are:

1. My application for a student visa to study for my MS during my first attempt (1995) to follow my dream to the US, was rejected twice in 2 days. I could not apply for another two years as it was mandatory after 2 consecutive rejections. [I finally applied again in 1999 and made it]
   
2. My 3 years of being "vocationally challenged" during the downturn after the dot-com days. That enabled me to discover social networking online (starting with LinkedIn where I eventually went to work) since I was living it off-line. My LinkedIn profile only details those days since I value my achievements then as one of the best
   

Finally, as Henry Ford said: "Whether you think that you can or you can't, you're right."

Imagine: The Pursuit IS Happyness

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I have a few posts up on happyness and I would like to especially refer to this one with reference to this article in The New York Times - In Silicon Valley, Millionaires Who Don’t Feel Rich, by Gary Rivlin.

Obviously the observations by The Journal and The Economist ring true when you read the entire article that:

1. Wealth is not making Americans happier and
   
2. Rivalry is a big cause for it. The World is just not Enough.

I firmly believe that America is all about choices and it is our job to choose. Many obviously want that 'more' in life - it is really amazing how many here in the Valley (and probably at many other places as well) are climbing "this" pillar hard. Not one seems to know what is at the top but climb they do ... faster and faster.....others are, aren't they....  nudging others out, walking all over others and sacrificing time with their friends, family and children.

It only gets harder since they do not seem to have a strong Why. Friedrich Nietzsche is known to have said "He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how"

Imagine: The 'y' in happyness

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In the last few months, some of the major media outlets have been covering "happiness". The Economist had a special report on it, which I wrote about briefly here and and then today - The Wall Street Journal has its take on it here through an article titled: No Satisfaction - Why What You Have is Never Enough.  I had indirectly referred to when I said "it is your job to choose".

800px-Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

The above two are a little different from the happiness being pursued that I wrote about here since the above is after one has passed the basic requirements under Maslow's hierarchy of needs covered under the Physiological and Safety levels - food, shelter and a roof.

The Journal article states in the second paragraph the following:
"As a country, we are richer than ever. Yet surveys show that Americans are no happier than they were 30 years ago. The key problem: We aren't very good at figuring out what will make us happy."

According to the article, experts offer two reason: (1) We aren't built to be happy. Rather, we are built to survive and reproduce and (2) We're bad at forecasting

The Economist about other experts and how they attributed it to Habits and Rivalry

Different problems are being attributed to this state. Does it surprise you as much, as it does me, that people are are not identified - the people we choose to have around us.

Maslow brings it out in the third tier after Physiology and Safety as Love/Belonging to move on to Esteem (all categorized as Deficiency Needs) and Self-Actualization (categorized as a Growth Need).

It seems "Once an individual has moved past a level, those needs will no longer be prioritized."

In my personal life,belief and imagination, it has always been first about people that have brought me happiness - I learnt to move up 'that' hierarchy from my days in India but always, at each level, surrounded myself with the right people around me - Always! I still do and will do! It has been the 'rock' (The story about those rocks next) in my life.

Maybe the hierarchy needs to be revisited, maybe it is 'culture' - but eventually it is all about You, I ....We and our imagination of this world.

Imagine: There is no 'i' in Happyness

Sometime ago, I had referred to managing happiness and then the movie The Pursuit of Happyness.

Finally - I did see the movie and I loved it.

I also realized that Chris Gardner's pursuit in itself was the happiness - not the job and not the many millions of dollars he went on to make eventually.

Millions have jobs and millions have many millions of dollars but not all those millions are happy. Gardner achieved happyness due to his:

• ability to dream to be a stock broker
• determination to realize that dream with hard work
  
• perseverance to pursue it through all hardships - extreme hardships
• drive to be there and provide for his son
• courage to face all odds stacked against him - from $21.33 in his account to having to show up at his most sought-after interview without a shirt
• sense of humor in adverse situations
  

Consequently, on taking a peek into my own life (Needless to say I have not had to overcome challenges even close to what Chris Gardner did), I do feel that every time I had to pursue something hard and overcome obstacles/challenges - I valued my achievements more and I was happier. But then I like it rough - coming to America is still my 'personal best' at that.

A sense of accomplishment? - maybe; A sense of purpose? - maybe; Discovery and/or retention of the right people? - Sure; Continuous discovery of oneself? - Yes....... Probably all these ingredients in different proportions.

I do understand that it is easy for me to say so since I have never known poverty - leave alone with my baby. Nevertheless, I do strongly believe its that journey that can bring out the best of us.

Imagine: the destination, live the journey
 

Was working my way through this issue of The Economist and all of the above connected for me. The possibility of being in a web services' Hall of Fame seems to be driving user generated content and  hopefully happiness.

First - happiness is more and more being described as a "positional" utility driven by habits and rivalry. Habits since it depends on what we get inured to over time and rivalry since it is important for us to have something that others dont.

Many of the successful web services today are not only driven by user generated content (UGC) but more importantly by those of the power users. For example, one third of the articles submitted at Digg are those by the Top100 (which has now been removed) for example. That Top100 the or the LonelyGirl15s on YouTube are all a part of this virtual Hall of Fame. This is positional - not all get to be in it. This is not necessarily new either - the regular Hall of Fame (supposedly about 3000!) has always created a driving force for a lot pf people to achieve greatness. What makes the Internet Hall of Fame different is that 1) the barrier of entry is far lower and 2) you need to sustain it for some time at least to get anything really valuable out of it. Consequently one continues being committed to generating content before and after to stay ahead ahead of the pack and in the process, hopefully happier

What do you think?

Imagine: If there was only one fixed "top list' published one time by a site